1957 Porsche Speedster Hot Rod
If you don’t use a plate it doesn’t have calories
If you eat it after midnight it doesn’t have calories
If you feel guilty about eating it, the guilt cancels out the calories
If a loved one makes you feel insecure about eating it, not only does it not have calories, it actually has negative calories and cancels out other calories
If nobody sees you eat it then you never actually ate it, hence, no calories
If you cut one meal into a lot of pieces it becomes a lot of meals
Looking at photos of food makes you fatter
Protein is a myth
Alcohol doesn’t have calories
Exercise has no health benefits but you should do it anyways to punish yourself
If you eat it with a fork, its a salad
If you eat it with your hands it has twice as many calories as you thought it did
If you’re hungry, just remember all the vague and seemingly unsolvable problems you have that hunger is distracting you from thinking about
Ice cream is vegan
The shame you feel after eating ice cream is also vegan
Train yourself to view eating as ‘face fucking yourself with food’
The self control it takes to not eat food that is in front of you burns more calories than running a mile
The better food tastes, the worse you should feel while eating it
If you don’t feel unbearably guilty every time you eat anything then you’re in denial
Any time you go into American Apparel you automatically gain 10 pounds. If you buy something you gain 20 pounds
The calories from the all finger nails and cuticle skin that you ingest on a daily basis is enough, you don’t need food
If someone says you look ‘healthy’ you should develop a cocaine habit immediately
Anyone who exercises on a regular basis is calling you fat just by existing
All body mass index charts are wrong
All scales add 10 pounds unless someone who isn’t you is weighing themselves, then the scale deducts 10 pounds
Any food sold to you by a child (i.e Girl Scout cookies) has no calories
Contrary to popular belief, water does have calories
where is your god now
Attention is neither monopolized nor homogenized. The exhibition is a very democratic and liberal ritual where the viewer decides the duration of his or her stay. There are, however, limits to the ritual of the exhibition.
If one looks at curatorial history, there are figures like Diaghilev, who invented his own way of doing this. He curated painting shows in the early 20th Century in Russian museums that would then tour through Europe. And then at a certain moment he felt that it was too limiting and too narrow; he wanted to go into other disciplines. But where could he go? He had to invent his own structure, which became the Ballets Russes. The Ballets Russes was like a migrating troupe, touring from city to city. And he collaborated with the greatest composers of his time like Stravinsky, and artists like Picasso. And his idea was that it would be a construct where he could pool all the knowledge and bring all the great practitioners of his time together to produce the ballet.
I think about exhibitions in a similar way. The exhibition is a great opportunity to bring it all together because it’s an experimental form; it’s not like a feature film, which has a prescribed duration. A film needs to be more or less 90 minutes; it’s difficult for the cinemas if it’s only 10 minutes or it’s 12 hours. Obviously, there are experiments where filmmakers break that form, but the exhibition has this amazing advantage: that it’s a ritual, it’s extremely public. There isn’t a prescribed time when people can visit it, or a prescribed length to their visit. They can visit it for a minute or for five hours or ten hours. There isn’t the sense that one has to visit it in a group; it can very often be a one-to-one experience. But still, it’s a one-to-one experience for millions of people. Within this sort of 21st Century ritual, the exhibition, there’s a great opportunity to bring all the disciplines together.
Pablo Picasso photographed in his studio near Cannes, France in 1956. The Thonet rocking chair in the distance appears in many of his paintings.
Happy Birthday Harrison Ford. You were a classy lad in the ’80s.